L4D2 tourney results

I T ( ) E - U N I T E D - N A T I O N

January 24, 2010                                                                    FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

TEAM PLUCKY VICTORIOUS!

With a final record of three wins and zero losses, TEAM PLUCKY dominated the competition to emerge as the undisputed winner of the IUN Left 4 Dead 2 tournament.

Attention shoppers: your ass is kicked.

As IT( )E's inaugural L4D2 tournament came to a close, all participants were still reeling from the uncharacteristic competence of Team Plucky's captain, the Pasty Prince of Pain. While he usually spends most of any given round on his back, covered in puke and goo, the Pluckster finally rose to the occasion, turning in three MVP performances to lead his team to victory.

Team Plucky had sobriety on its side, beginning its triumphant march by blowing the doors off Team Imperfect on Hard Rain. Plucky set the tone early, spawning as a smoker inside the Burger Tank. He picked up two guitars, and used them to fight off three survivors while he choked the fourth to death with his tongue.

After an impressive win over Team Sack in round one, Team Thong looked to be the dark horse of the tournament. But in round two, they folded against Triple-P's one man murder machine in Dead Center. Despite solid infected play from the Potent Panties, they withered as the survivors, falling victim to the Pluckinator's jockeys. Sitting on face after face, none could withstand the onslaught of his mini-manhood. Team Thong conceded the finale honorably, exchanging shotgun blasts to the face in the safe room.

Finally, Team Plucky met Team Sack in the consolation round. Team Sack was cradled, massaged, and finally molested, earning Team Plucky its third and ultimate victory.

The epic play of the tourney, however, belonged to a non-IT( )E member. Team Thong's Maugchief was unavailable for the first round due to injury (sprained fallopian tube), so the squad picked up "Jesus on t" from the pub circuit at the last minute.  The Son of God descended to smite the enemies of the Thong, charging both Stinky Sack and Lonewolf off the top of the sugar mill - to their immediate deaths - in a single life. All who witnessed the event were in awe, and Karnage openly wept.

All hail the victors.

TEAM PLUCKY                             
 IT( )E Plucky                              
 IT( )E Frisky Wabbit                    
 IT( )E Bizzy Bone                       
 IT( )E Moto'freak

TEAM THONG
 IT( )E Miss Wabbit
 IT( )E Mr. Smiles
 IT( )E Maugchief
 IT( )E Messiah Complex
 Jesus on t

TEAM SACK
 IT( )E Stinky Sack
 IT( )E Karnage
 IT( )E Slam
 IT( )E Lonewolf

TEAM IMPERFECT
 IT( )E Imperfect
 IT( )E AndyBal5
 IT( )E Cybermage
 IT( )E Blake Ice