OK ... maybe not

Valve sent out another email to the gaming press this morning (including 1UP, if you'd like a source), announcing that the release of Portal 2 has been delayed until 2011.  The email makes it clear that the aforementioned "surprise" announcement at E3 will most definitely be "***PORTAL-2-THEMED-FOR-GOD'S SAKE***."  So much for all the Source Engine 2/Half-Life 3 speculation.

Here's the text of the email:

VALVE ANNOUNCES MAKING GAMES IS HARD

June 9, 2010 -- Aperture Science, doing business as Aperture Laboratories LLC, in partnership with Valve today announced the successful completion of an ethics-review-panel-supervised release date restructuring process. Portal 2, the sequel to the ground-breaking title that earned over 30 Game of the Year awards despite missing its original ship date, is now targeted for a 2011 release.

Representatives from both companies acknowledged that public safety concerns factored into the decision. They went on to say that even though Portal 2 will arrive slightly later than planned, all life on earth won't instantaneously stop as every molecule in your body explodes at the speed of light, which is what would happen should a rip ever appear in the fabric of Valve Time.

"Also, the game will be even better," they added, missing an historic opportunity to create the first product delay press release to mention that a product is being delayed to make it worse.

To ask questions about how close we all came to dying, or to ask futile questions about the previously announced E3 ***PORTAL-2-THEMED-FOR-GOD'S SAKE*** surprise or, less futilely, to schedule an appointment to attend a Portal 2 screening at the Valve booth during E3, please contact Valve's delegate to the EU's Valve Time Studies Group, Doug Lombardi.

It seems clear (as mud) that Valve issued this missive to quell all the rumors about that other thing.  Which doesn't mean, of course, that Valve won't eventually skip Episode Three in favor of Half-Life 3.  It just means that we're not going to tell us anything about it -- either way -- at E3.

So we have no idea what Valve has in store for the upcoming holiday release season.  It could be HL3, or L4D3, or a new game, or nothing.  Or they might have a plan now that they're expecting to fall apart later.  Such are the mysteries of Valve-time.

In any event, don't expect them to announce anything about anything anytime soon.